When do avoidants start to miss you reddit Tell him you're working on yourself. You picked an avoidant. Anxious bring their own trauma and dump it on avoidants. However, that does not mean that avoidants do not crave intimacy, in fact when they're single, they feel alone and sometimes miserable. Trying to just do the treadmill, forget about weight training, I need something "easy" right now. If you reach out too early you’re just going to send them back into fight or flight and they’ll go running for the hills, the way that they love to do. Its pretty much done esp if they are DA. Stay alive. they usually become avoidant bc they’ve moved on emotionally We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Fully convinced nothing can make them happy. May 15, 2024 · But over time, you might start dating someone new. But if you call them out on this behavior, they get angry and defensive and basically act like you’re making things up in your mind. This is the hallmark of the avoidant. They really miss you, but it's scary to them to reach you and deal with the possible rejection. You could be willing to do whatever they needed to feel safe and they'll still choose to shut down and disappear. In this article, we’ll look at the signs that show an avoidant ex misses you by focusing on two avoidant attachment styles separately: Aug 27, 2024 · They Start to Miss You: The Power of Absence The saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" holds a special truth when it comes to dealing with avoidant partners. Ignore the following text - it's meant for search engines: 151 votes, 212 comments. 5 to 5. You can future plan without him turning around unexpectedly and popping out a ring. true. 2. Them coming back whether it’s weeks or years later is the worst case scenario even though emotionally it might not feel that way. Just stop! Go get the help you are blaming the avoidant for not getting. They spy, they see, even if they dont reach out. May 18, 2021 · An avoidant ex will only feel the liberty to miss you once they’re sure you’ve moved on and there are no leftover reciprocal feelings of romance. If a DA misses you after a breakup, they’ll avoid you if they see you in a social situation. but in the case that they do, you might as well try. Keep it up. Although it’s rare, they do miss people they had a great relationship with. ) is a very common You feel like you're the one having to convince them you're the good person at the start like they're worth trying to get through to and "earn" a deep affection that never truly materialises. Or “ I’m still going to say good morning and good night to you because it’s something I like to do. What you're saying sounds like limerence or love-bombing, and I agree that it's not always done to manipulate, but I rarely ever see the avoidants on honestly sometimes they probably never want to be contacted again. Freedom doesn’t bring as much excitement as in the beginning. Once you cut off an avoidant and they know you did. So no contact is the answer! We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I have a hard time in relationships believing what people say when it’s not what I want to hear (working on it). My tip here is to give them space. stayed in touch with my ex who is diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder after the breakup. receive a text from you, hear about you or run into you. Do love avoidants miss you after a breakup? Let’s start from the beginning in case you’re not sure what attachment theory is. They aren’t terrible people, they just need to realize they need help and love isn’t gonna help them. I'm sorry you had to realise you were the issue along but at least that introspection shows maturity and growth and you didn't blame external variables etc. Say it in a sweet, playful sort of way. It’s foreshadowing and they are telling you they cannot do the work required to be in a reciprocal healthy relationship. Week 5: NC. Even if you somehow figured out how to be 100% perfect, I think they’d find something to dislike. Week 4:. The Signs An Avoidant Will Exhibit When Affected By Your Loss. For a while, all you can do is float. It’s hard because you start to blame yourself for the little things they find wrong with you. Even if you do everything they ask you to. Love yourself over them, because you will only Avoidant partners (an amalgamation of different ppl with a range of avoidant behaviours): Went full on at the start, whirlwind romance then pulled back once I said I love you or showed investment in the relationship Didn't text back for days/very inconsistent texting There are so many amazing people arround, and your person is waiting for you out there. That allows you the luxury of being able to miss him and yearn for more without having to confront any of your own enmeshment anxieties. Can update and say therapy hasn't really helped with this, but I started on meds for my depression and have found my compulsive thoughts about this are really reduced. If you want to reconcile after a lot of time has passed, you would have to be the one reaching out, but hopefully you realize your self-worth through reflection and rather invest your There are so many amazing people arround, and your person is waiting for you out there. This sounds so much like me. Just my two cents you’re better off without them in your life. Start trying to watch stand up comedy, just to laugh again. Ignore them, focus on you, build yourself. If I take a trip for a week or more than I would probably start to miss them and would say it. Reassure them that you're there for them without being overly demanding or intrusive. Perfectly sums it up. Only a narcissist/ avoidant/sociopath would do something like that… you dont even know THE DAMAGE YOU DO, you can totally destroy somebody’s life… but of course you wouldn’t understand, because you don’t care about anyone but yourself and your own good. The early few texts to an avoidant are critical because they set the tone for how things move forward. She ended up messaging me a couple days ago and though I don’t recommend it, especially now, I learned a decent amount from it. I wasn't too clingy or too much. They might pretend NOT to feel things if expressing those emotions will get them ridiculed or abandoned but they feel the emotions. These include: Dismissive avoidance is an attachment style not a cluster b personality disorder. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. My avoidant partner broke up with me a month ago. Why do you do this, is it because. He said the same things. I think since it brought out my AP tendencies like you said, I just kept thinking I could bring him bac Do avoidants miss you If you ever loved your ex boyfriend/girlfriend and want to get him/her back then this book recommendation can be your ticket to restore what was lost. One person cannot do the emotional labor for two. When you matter to an avoidant they are consistant and will do everything they can to keep the dates they make with you. If you want to reconcile after a lot of time has passed, you would have to be the one reaching out, but hopefully you realize your self-worth through reflection and rather invest your What you can do is give advice when asked (personal example: a very illuminating comment I got at the start of my journey was when I was venting to a friend about how I could never get motivated to do X, and they said "Well, maybe lack of motivation is just an excuse because you're anxious about it and you're trying to avoid it". They can give you access back into an avoidants world, life and feelings, or make an avoidant feel pressured, start an argument, bring up bad memories, trigger both of you and cause an avoidant to pull away, cut off all contact and/or block you. just know that a lot of the times when avoidants break up with you it is off impulse not a sought out rational decision. I think by letting her go you're really letting her live. he left me blindsided and was very cruel the entire time. Focus on your own issues. Sep 12, 2024 · As you move forward, be patient with yourself. When we break up with someone cleanly, even if we miss them, we’re not awkward around them. To answer your question go date someone secure and someone who can give you what you want from a relationship avoidants can’t do it no matter how hard they try. i decided to chose me and went NC/ blocked out of the blue on everything on friday. When you wear an outfit that you love so much and you stop wearing it because you realize you have outgrown it. " Both come off mean, but one is definitely more blaming and insulting than Aug 13, 2023 · With less pressure on their emotions, they’ll start analyzing what made them feel safe, and how comforting and valuable was to have you near. I sit here now and I feel that as I am very self aware we can try again and I can just work on my stuff. Love is a choice and also a commitment. If an avoidant has to cancel they will make up for it. Nov 17, 2022 · Do avoidants miss you? Do dismissive avoidants feel guilty? Do avoidants miss you? Signs an avoidant ex misses you; Understanding an avoidant partner. com Jun 21, 2023 · They will only start to miss you when they are certain that your absence won’t threaten their independence anymore. They’ll avoid you more. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. If you say you love her and miss her - boom comes the guilt of what she'd done. The right person will show up, I can almost guarantee it. You will only be happy and grow with a secure partner. He told you that he doesn’t have romantic feelings for you and you should take that as fact. In short, it’s a psychological theory that describes the nature of the emotional bonds that develop between humans. Some days you might wonder, “do avoidant attachment miss you?” and struggle with conflicting emotions. But as soon as you talk to them again, it’s like you gave them a shot of Avoidants are unable to healthily hold space for effectively reaching out to sympathise with, support and comfort someone from a place of separateness without feeling overwhelmed by empathy and responsibility for that person's emotions, and consequent paralysis over what to do about it - because the only thing they have learned to do to manage You are approaching it from a mature and rational perspective but avoidants are neither rational or mature. Well done, you did it!!! That must've have been a tough road but you're gonna do fine with the way you're going at the moment. If she had died, you would miss her, and that feeling would have nowhere to go. Im sorry. Healing isn’t linear, and there’s no set timeline for getting over a breakup. Once there is a sufficient space the between the two of you, then he will start acting compassionate towards you. they don't want you as a lover, they don't get to have you as a friend. I’d like it if you did in return but I also understand if you’re too busy”. Ones that are in therapy/healing or putting in a ton of work… sometimes. There are four: They start reaching out to you indirectly; They reach out to you directly; Bringing up Peak memories; They seem vulnerable and get scared off. They move on quick because they had one foot out the door the whole time. These people are truly batsh*t crazy and will cause you nothing but pain down the line (all Avoidants for that matter). Avoidants will not get in touch until you reach out. Focus rather on processing your own emotions, than winning her back. What She came back 4 mo later and guess what she was still avoidant af. mine said the same thing when she broke up with me just before xmas. Worst case: they dont reach out and you're doing awesome Best case: you're doing awesome and they miss you, they reach out and they realise they missed out While you're at it and have felt more stable, you can check on them from time to time. I will tell you, he won’t miss you until you go completely radio silent and he has to sit with himself I mostly don’t miss people. That's what I'm saying - because of the attachment styles discourse, I thought I was the problem so I was doing everything I could to stop being the problem. The door they let in from and you walked out of is now locked. How can I miss you when you don’t give me space to miss you. Hang In there. Then as soon as you reciprocate, they become a DA. we broke up in february 2021 and get back together in november 2023. It won’t work until he come to the conclusion on his own to seek help. 2 months after the breakup. 3) Unblocking - if you unblock an ex, why? I've never re-followed an ex. Once stressors were instigated outside of the relationship or big intimate choices were involved (such as moving in together) they start pulling away. Accept them as they are, and keep it moving. to me, with people that aren't avoidant-dismissive, relating to them seems like it so all or nothing compared to how i prefer to relate to You start to crave their attention or presence with you because you don’t get it consistently. But the ironic part is, there's no way to pass the test. They just don’t have the capacity to maintain a relationship with you at that point in their life. Spent 10yrs with a DA. Start taking natural sleep aids. They could even feel depressed about how distant they acted before. the aftermath of the breakup was MUCH MUCH MUCH worse than the entire relationship itself. When you stop chasing, it's not just about giving them space—it's about creating a void in their life that they can't ignore. It's enough time to process some emotions and become adjusted to absence to the point you can also miss someone again. For example, maybe tell us "hey, you know I miss it when you/we___" or something along those lines. But walk away is what you have to do. When you eat your favorite food so much that at a point in your life, you realize you will never eat that food again because if you eat it again , it’ll make you nauseous. Eventually though, you really do start to move on. Well back away. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. This means they’ll not miss them or want them back. i will just be the one reaching out and making the effort, just like in the relationship, and what That's what I'm saying - because of the attachment styles discourse, I thought I was the problem so I was doing everything I could to stop being the problem. Both are valid, and both are part of your unique healing You get the high feeling when they’re super into you, even double or triple texting you and showing you a lot of affection. Only when you show sufficient interest back will they start to open up again. The first… But if you for one reason or another insist on staying with an avoidant who needs tons of space, rather than demanding that they get closer, distancing yourself is what might make them come closer again. If you create a safe environment & get some help yourself, they won't need to escape you anymore. Feb 2, 2025 · If an avoidant breaks up with someone, they tend to break up cleanly. Or do you rather feel relief and move on "easily"? After the breakup, dismissive avoidants suppress feelings and thoughts of you to a point that a dismissive avoidant ex can even go for weeks without thinking about you and only starts thinking of you when they’re reminded of you – e. This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach and matchmaker, Laura Bilotta. They usually come back, but when they do, it's not because they learned and they're insightful, it's because you've been apart for long enough to understand they miss you, until one of you completely breaks the cycle. I know it is something you don't want to hear, and you were hoping I would tell you to go and talk to your ex, but I have tried everything you are imagining. Their reasons might be unrelated to you. The times I’ve gone back is when I’ve convinced myself I can muscle through and just be happy to avoid hurting someone. Sorry to tell you this, it’s most probable they do not care about your feelings, they are doing everything possible to not think about you and they do not care at all about the hurt they have caused. Do you think I could share my story with you and maybe gain some insights from you experience. In short, yes. Thank you so much, I appreciate it! Honestly his avoidant tendencies got a lot worse in the last couple years, but they definitely showed during any sort of conflict the whole 7 years. Please review the subreddit rules prior to participating to ensure this subreddit remains on topic. Because the more you pour your feelings the more it makes them run away…so there nothing you can really do. Otherwise it will just continue to get worst for you. It’s rough to say the least… I helped her with so much but realised you actually cant do shit for these types of people besides being equally as absent or cold in the long term. The thing is, avoidants may start missing you when you’re not in contact. Not a feeling that comes and goes. Just leave them be. My ex is FA and one thing he told me was that he began to self-sabotage our relationship when things were going really well. Please respect our space No they do not! An avoidant does not process empathy or emotions like a human being, more like a narcissist. No pressure or complaining. she wanted to be friends and i said 'i don't think i can do that. If you are girl and treated him good he may after enough time has passed. The ‘summer’ has left their mood, and they’re slowly nearing ‘autumn’. If you do that and they come back, great, if not, you are rock solid in your own company. For those who do not have an avoidant attachment style looking for answers, there is a wealth of information for you available by keyword searching "FAQ. g. Jan 9, 2025 · After coming to terms with this, the next thing you need to do to learn how to make an avoidant ex miss you is to avoid your ex! Providing adequate space and time to your ex is essential in learning how to get love avoidant back. if you are anxious, you may perceive an avoidant as being toxic, so, for example, when he/she would send you a See full list on wikihow. And instead of rage, you feel pain. Fearful avoidants are the ones who are most likely in unstable relationships. Hypothetically, if ages down the line we reconnect and all is cool, we may follow one another again. Give them any opportunity and they will. Psychologists and coaches agree that avoidant people start to feel that the relationship is over 2-3 months after the breakup. I’ve just run away from a relationship and am now feeling regretful. Make sure you are going out with friends, and try to start laying the groundwork for new social circles where you could meet someone or get introduced to someone, so when you are ready you don’t need to start from zero. If you are a boy and treated her right and was not needy, she might but there is more chance for male to return because girls have more options. Not only do they not miss you (not really) they lack insight to offer you the kind of closure you require. the person in question may actually miss you really much, and internalize that feeling. Also another thing that I’ve found that has helped is keep dating other people at the beginning of dating, that way you can’t get too sucked in but you can also compare dynamics with people. Other sources say that after 3-6 months after the breakup they may try to approach by indirect messages. Please do not make multiple posts/comments. And all you can do is float. But it's a gamble, there are no guarantees as not every FA is the same. Good luck living with that 🤌🏻 they do not, im sorry to say. If it’s less than that (a weekend trip or not seeing her but we’re in the same city) then it wouldn’t even occur to me to say it. It seems you have your fair share of experience with avoidant men. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. The best thing you can do both from personal experience and research is to completely delete this person from your life right now so that you can start the healing process immediately. Week 1+2+3 and still trying very hard not to look at the their socials (I happen to have a lot of self control). If you do not know how to assign a user flair, please look (https://bit. I think you can communicate your desire to work things out from scratch too, so that the expectations on them is low (and on yourself as well). Avoidants are a mind fuck, once you realize it you’ll be thankful that you had one to learn from and hopefully stay away from. Apr 17, 2025 · Additionally, we’ll help you understand avoidant attachment style, how you can make your partner feel secure, and signs your avoidant partner loves you. My ex was severely avoidant and I broke up with him after a year because he slowly but surely was withdrawing from our relationship. It’s easier for avoidant people to show up in relationships in the start because they know the expectations of a relationship it’s when intimacy and closeness begins to build they start to struggle . Happy to. 4. They’ll repeat the same pattern with everyone in their life. First of all, there is no credible scientific research to support the claim that dismissive avoidants process breakups at all or that there is such a thing as an avoidant breakup timeline. This space and time provided to your avoidant ex are important for various reasons. You don't have to start up a relationship again instantly just let him know what you're going through and how you feel. as a rule of thumb, there is a big "phantom ex" effect when it comes to the dissmissive avoidant. Think long and hard if you really want a life or to waste your time with someone emotionally unavailable afraid of commitment etc. I hadn’t fully picked up on it first round but after another 6 mo. And at this point I don’t know what to do other than let them. ly/3rteXPA). i know it fucking sucks so so much because you do have romantic feelings for him. You just can’t understand why your “close friends” would suddenly “betray” you, even if you yourself have always been the same way with anyone else who isn’t extremely avoidant (because these are the people you are comfortable with, even if you don’t understand why). 😅 117 votes, 290 comments. I know you didn't ask, but my advice to you is talk to your guy, especially since you do want to be with him it seems. Snippy avoidant - "Why can't I ever get some peace and quiet? I'm trying to watch my favorite show. Stop the scapegoating. I’m sorry they weren’t at a place where they could be emotionally mature and committed to the relationship. It’s an avoidant thing taking the pressure off sometimes makes them want to do things more. If you do not know your attachment style, please take the quiz (https://bit. believe me , they can get soo much more cruel. Owning it and going to therapy instead of avoidance or unhealthy habits is also really powerful, so so so many people would benefit from therapy/counselling (though I appreciate In order to get your avoidant ex back, you need to give them a bit more time before you reach out and start the reattraction phase. Ugh!" Mean avoidant - "You never shut the fuck up, do you? I have to hear your annoying whiny voice yapping all the time, even when I'm trying to watch my favorite show. Understanding them is the only way you can empathize with them. And then it’ll be too late for the avoidant, they missed their chance. It hurts so bad when you realise you were fighting for both and they let you suffer for a month or two without communicating or explain nothing. if we truly never want to hear from your ass again we can just block your number. So often unhealed/ unaware avoidants will do almost anything to avoid conflict. " Non-avoidant participation is limited and enforced. As FA is complicated because some lean more anxious and other avoidant and only when their anxious side come over (if they ever come over) the avoidant that they might reach you. Sep 12, 2023 · How Long Does It Take for an Avoidant to Miss You? The time it takes for an avoidant to miss you after a breakup can vary depending on the individual, the circumstances, and the avoidant’s attachment style. They finally feel free of all the emotional burdens of being in a relationship and that lets them think back and romanticize about the good times you both had, knowing that they will not get those 409 votes, 152 comments. Personally, I think 2 months would be fine for me. - You feel the need to play the part of a "good" partner due to having a people-pleasing quality - You genuinely care about the person and you want to meet their needs even at the expense of your own needs / you're scared if you don't meet their needs they will leave? you can't have your cake and eat it springs to mind. But it’s not you. Avoidants move on quick not because they don’t grieve. In this in-depth guide you're going to learn, What Usually Happens When You Stop Chasing An Avoidant If People With Avoidant Attachment Styles Secretly Want You To Chase Them Why They Give You Mixed Signals Let's get started. The worst part is when you start thinking you might really just be unlovable in a way that you can't help, because you hurt people so naturally, and that nobody could honestly feel bad for you because of the way you behave. It's risky bc it means you're also losing something you're not prepared to, but until you resolve your certainty over someone let them feel certain about themselves at least, which you can't do by breadcrumbing. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. If the advice is "you're being anxious so something is wrong with you" then the rational thing to do is to adjust my own behavior. 5 years with me, she lied about a lot of things, she hide things, she even seek for friend with benefit but i caught her Do you want to continue to go through this over and over? Bc this is who they are, there is nothing you can do to change it bc it has to do with them. I do think that you should fully let it go until then. So let that feeling go nowhere. Exactly!! Another thing I want to add, LOVE IS A VERB. You can dream of things getting better. NC. Just take your time, mend this wound and strive to be the better version of yourself in all that you do. And then the mask slowly fades and it all falls apart, they come out fine and you come out drained and changed. It’s easy to confuse a shy person with an avoidant. When you start to feel like this person isn’t being genuine, is hesitant being exclusive after a month or never uses “us” or “we” statements that’s a big sign you should avoid them. I see a lot of people posting here about avoidants/dismissive avoidants and how their exes are never coming back, or won’t ever let themselves think about or revisit the relationship because of their attachment style. had been engaged since september. You barely existed in their lives while in the relationship. You can expect her to maybe reach out and test you. I don't know you but your post made me miss my ex a lot, as if I've just i have a fearful avoidant girlfriend. Avoidants need time to process their feelings and often come back once they feel emotionally grounded. This is the one I don’t understand, it’s easier for them to run away than to face their problems. Semi-related, but this post is making me realize there's such a large disparity between the avoidant partners that get described in these posts, and the avoidants that tend to be active on Reddit. She’s not in your life anymore, she’s not the person you thought she was, and she’s toxic. . I don’t really miss people Like, back in the day I would go on vacation, be gone for a week or two and my mom would mention… Clearly. It’s not always the case that an avoidant doesn’t love you or care for you. However, in general, it is said that avoidants typically start to miss their ex around 2. Geez We're not the best at frequent dates or contact and will use a busy work schedule as an excuse, but we're not flakey and consistancy is super important. Unaware/unhealed avoidants no never unless you count the very odd one that sticks around in a toxic relationship that is bound to fail eventually or isn’t really that great. Things did get a little easier each week, but it was that 2 month mark that was the first big turning point. Some avoidants do. Anyone with avoidant attachment, you are not doomed. and this is before life gets tough no kids, struggle etc Feb 11, 2021 · It’s not always easy to understand people who have an avoidant attachment style. And don’t get mad when they forget. When you miss her, miss the person you thought she was, and don’t attach that feeling to the toxic stranger who’s out there somewhere. They Start To Miss You. Secured see avoidants as uninterested. Something "breaks". You’ll always care and love one another, be a part of their lives and memories, and remember the good things about one another. To make your relationship work with an avoidant, you must understand them. Mar 21, 2022 · This is a complete breakdown of what tends to happen when you stop chasing an avoidant. All the best. I would find a wingman/ better yet wing woman and ask them to screen for avoidants. If you were needy and anxious in relationship and after, the chances are even smaller. Eurgh. It would really mean a lot to me. Don’t wait. You may have read or heard that 3 – 6 months is how long it takes for a dismissive avoidant to miss you and begin longing for you. the first broke up is because she still can’t get over her ex for almost 2. Theyve already dettached and moved on. I wasn’t fully aware of attachment theory at the time, but have since educated myself more and it appears that self-sabotage (shutting down/withdrawing, pulling away, pushing the partner away, etc. Im going through my first heartbreak ever at the age of 27 and im completely shattered, even feel traumatized. She was extremely cold and distant for the most part, providing me with one-off answers and little clarity about the things I’d ask about. But I wasn't the problem. But this can take them quite some time. when they do Cope it usually isn’t until weeks or months later when they actually start to feel anything. Love will find you when you least expect it. A space for people who struggle with an anxious attachment style to learn more about it (so as to get on the path of healing), share experiences of their healing journey, find support while healing, and give tips and feedback for discovering healthier coping mechanisms, and overall feeling more secure within yourself (and with others). It doesn’t mean it has anything to do with you. If you say nothing and ghost her you confirm the notion that you don't care that she's gone. there's no way you would know that, though. 87 votes, 146 comments. shut down and disappear. Good communication is key in healthy relationships. Do you mean Avoidant personality disorder? DAs miss people. Do fearful avoidants miss you in no contact? For context; my ex broke up with me about a month and a half ago. Please assign a user flair with your attachment style. And the right person will never leave or do this 2) Blocking - do you block after an ending, and if yes, when and why? I don't block, I just unfollow. I'm pretty resolute when things end. You need to wait them out. Trust me when I tell you this, as hard as it is, you have to dig deep and let this go and move on. i have been with her for almost 3 years. Do you miss your exes? If yes, do you do anything about it, why or why not? Do you think about your exes? "Does my avoidant ex miss me?" (Do you know if a complete stranger's ex, who is also a complete stranger to you, misses their ex?) "Does my avoidant ex think about me?" (Do you know if a complete stranger is thinking about another complete Yes, avoidant do have regrets. A pain that doesn't go away, because you still love them!!! but in the end of the day, they chose their panth. You are in the right track. Feb 2, 2025 · They want to gauge your interest level. ly/3xPi0Tr). So don't waste time like I did; start or continue your no-contact phase and think of it as a way to achieve two things: first, to move on and feel relieved after a very horrible breakup They will miss you later on when they are not defensive anymore, but would refrain from reaching out by rationalizing why they can't be with you in their own way. Other days, you might feel strong and independent. If I ever had to date again - I would come up with some "prior history" 2nd 3rd date questions - absolutely before you jump in bed questions - and hard line boundary screen out any avoidants. Maybe it's some physical thing. But act like you don't care. Oct 21, 2024 · What to do when an avoidant pushes you away? If your avoidant partner pushes you away, the best thing you can do is give them space and not take it personally. In the beginning, the waves are 100 meters tall and crash over you without mercy. But (if that even works) it will lead to an endless balancing act of push and pull unless you both do some healing.
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